Let’s give Franco Debono a few extra seats

As we fret and ponder the lifetime of a government, I must admit, a bit sadly, that this is a land of fools.

But at least even in our fights and constitutional crises we seem to win quite a few accolades. What with the silliness at Parliament, with Buddhist mantras being oohmed away, we surely deserve winning the award of being the best laughing stock of the world. Or rather the laughing stock of no one—because, let’s face it, did anyone in the wide, wild world really realise that we in Malta are in the midst of a crisis?

Dr Debono managed to get the media to fret away, ferreting out anyone who was a has-been, and has lately become a bigger has-been, to give us his views and prediction of what is in store for us in this mini—or should I say maxi?—saga of tottering governments and other such interesting fare.

So besides the likes of me spewing out my definitely unwarranted, and unexceptional, views, we had all sorts of people giving their two-cent senseless bits.

One of the last to join this fray was Dr Joe Brincat. Dr Who? I hear all the world, including most Maltese, ask. Dr Brincat came up with quite an interesting solution to a potential repetition of what Dr Gonzi’s government is suffering right now.

It seems Dr Brincat said that if a party gets a one-seat majority in parliament we should give that party an extra 2 seats so that the party in government will always be assured of a majority in parliament.

The reasoning is that an errant MP could never threaten to vote against the party in power and, by such a vote, bring down the government. Sounds like excellent advice from the learned, former minister. But delve deeper: what if said errant MP joins up with one of the other loose cannon ball members of parliament, Dr Jeffrey Pullicino Orlando or Jesmond Mugliett? So maybe two extra seats aren’t enough. Why not give the party 5 to make sure? Or just in case Franco Debono is made Prime Minister—first Buddhist to lead our country I’d say—and the rest of the naughty Nationalists turncoats turn against him, why not give him, as potential Prime Minister, an extra 50 seats to make sure he has a long period in power?

Errant MPs seem to be quite easy to conjure out of our parliamentary system’s quirky hat. Although Joseph Muscat in his infinite knowledge –were his marks in Predicting Science better than Franco’s?—said that all Labour candidates have been vetted thoroughly and will not be causing any trouble.

The Labour brigade definitely have a better net than the silly Nationalists.