Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Let’s bungle away bunga style

So Dr Debono, in one of his rants and in his infinite humility, told us that he might go to Italy to further his lawyerly career and live happily ever after with no one unearthing his thesis or report cards. I, like the unbiased blogger that I am, wish him well.

I’m not sure if he showed us his marks in Italian or if any wily law student dug deep enough to see his proficiency in that language. With such a great mind I’m sure the Italians will not just let him be a great lawyer but will get him into politics. He will surely be offered a number of ministries as unlike our idiot of a Prime Minister the Italians know how to choose their ministers. I imagine he will be given a number of ministerial posts ranging from penal reform to justice to party financing.

From the little I know about Italy it desperately needs Dr Debono to solve its ills and plights. He might also take over finance—I’m sure Frau Merkel from Germany will put her foot down (ouch) and get him that post. Italy’s ailing and failing economy needs desperate cures. Monti, poor deluded soul, move over, our unbelievably educated man is soon coming there.

And if Bossi, or his unruly Lega Nord, are up to any silly trickery and threatened treachery about declaring the North of Italy independent under the name of La Padania, our intrepid lawyer from Ghaxaq will surely be able to heal all rifts between the erring parties and get them to a table together. Not just to discuss but to surely smile, answer a few phones and ultimately embrace gracefully and jointly forget all past troubles and silly petty rows. All will be solved and all will be united.

We might miss Dr Debono but Italy and its newly united, newly salvaged nation will be the new paradise. Germany will bow to the new supremacy of Italy. Italians—from Bossi to Rutelli to Monti—will all hail their new saviour, their own liberator and unifier. Prophets, some holy man said, are not made for home consumption or adulation. Go abroad for riches and for fame and for acclaim, the holy book seems to say.

Obviously the ones to applaud us most heartily and gleefully for what we would have exported to them would be the comedians. Ever since Berlusconi was ousted from his prime ministerial position all comedians have been either out of a job or in tears. Most have lost their muse and their scripts have become as boring as the new prime minister who resembles a mount or a mountain range of boring greyness and drabness. The minute the clown prince of politics, the Bunga-Bungler Berlusconi ,resigned comedy in Italy lost its sting as it lost its biggest patron, its biggest target, its most solid, sordid subject.

When Dr Debono moves over there I feel confident that he will give these comedians, these silly cartoonists, a lot of work and a lot of ready scripts. He will also help Italians get back on to their toes, laughing away their tears at the antics of the liveliest politician we could ever have given rise to and, alas, exported.

In fact I think I too will change my mind and cry out—all is forgiven please remain on this fair isle and keep the laughter going—our terribly serious, terribly boring way of life—especially our oh so deadening petty politics—needs you and your colour.


  1. ...and now that there's a technical government, he'd feel that his genius will be appreciated more! "io, top student, sempre pieni voti!"

  2. dejjem biezel kien ir-ragel. and he was always consistent especially seen in his thesis. or is that thesis another lie of the gonzi klikka?

  3. Tajba Vic.

    Now looking forward to see your take on the (in)effective leadership of Gonzi and his stalwart companions in frejjeg namely Austin (creator of ARMS, murky BWSC Tenders & funny buses, not to mention impeccable roadworks), the 2 Tonios(the one who sides with Arsenal & employs maids without paying VAT & the clueless one who had no idea that his prison had such a lucrative drug trade), Carm (the namesake of his uncle zero who is unashamedly incapable of handling anything) & the teary Christina (who can't understand why she has to blame if she can't run her Ministry). Or is that too much to ask? Admittedly you will have a wider audience pulling FD's leg then helping your readers realise that the ship is really sinking and since there's no hope anyway we might as well keep playing the same tune - pretty much like that scene from Titanic....

    Or is that just a tad too negative? Considering we're probably in for an early election with crap politicians, liars, thieves and incapable idiots from both sides of the divide unashamedly vying to ride onto the gravy train that our parliament has become, I really can't see anything positive coming our way.

    So if you can come up with some funny stuff, PLEASE throw it my way - I need it

  4. @il-fenech. you are never too negative: you rabbit on most positively about everything under the sun. as that sun has not been too eager to do any shining lately...
    anyway--i will try doing what you bid me to do and write about Gonzi's defects. I have always said the PN has loads of defects and also defective members but I will try going into the stuff you have pointed out.