Saturday, 24 December 2011

Frankly Alan your time as Dame is up

Merry Christmas everybody. Or hold on—merry Xmas everybody. I put in the X there in case a non-Christian double atheist is reading this blog and gets offended. I hoped I would be merry and frivolous, it being Christmas and all that. But I am usually frivolous so maybe this season of goodwill I can be serious?

Let me get something straight: I am serious, dead serious about me being frivolous. Most of what I say, whether it is against our country, against atheists or against the august traditions of our land like parliament and sacred panto, I usually say with tongue firmly up my cheek. I will for sensitive ears, and because I want this blog to be as child-friendly and panto-bashing as possible, refrain from adding which cheek I refer to here.

Here's my most important Christmas greeting: happy Christmas dear Dr Franco Debono MP, LLD, you have done a nation proud. You have managed, with no script from Brussels or from some commissar or other, to upstage a seasoned Dame like Alan Montanaro. He—Alan that is—can go and hide and maybe seek election in parliament to make us poor mortals laugh a bit. He can ask the kids who used to love him to vote for him, for now his role is no more. The elegant, the straight talking, the brave Franco has beaten you to your role.

Said Franco does a fantastic prima donna (super dame for those of us less proficient in Italian) act. While the world, the outer world, not the one we have here in little rock Malta, dithers on the verge of collapse, and while the Euro sags and falters and Greece sells its treasures and its children, the most honourable of our parliamentarians threatens and flails about and stamps his feet about some silliness. First he screamed because he missed his bus now he wants a ministry divided. Ok he might, if one reads deep into his ravings and rantings, make some important sense—but is this the way to conduct his battles? Truly I think not.

Dr Debono keeps on talking about the good of the country Frankly the only good this learned lawyer could do is give up his seat in parliament and take off, preferably to some nether region of Pluto or Pluto’s world in Orlando. He has said that Malta is far more important than Gonzi and the party. So he can spoil any party. Fine words Sir. And we, the people, bow our heads to you and your silly whims. Oh yes I imagine all the Nationalists who gave you their vote really want this to happen. And the ones who didn’t vote for you really love your antics and party trickery and treachery.
This beacon of light, in our darkened days of autocracy, really represents Malta’s clowns, I mean people.

At least when the die is cast and Gonzi calls an early election the people will hopefully rise to the occasion and boot him—not Gonzi but Franco-- and his silliness out to Italy or beyond. And then at least he will have a job secured for life as the protagonist at a panto which can run from January to December.

And so as they say in panto—be nice to each other. May all of you, enlightened or not, have a great time this Christmas and may your year be as light-hearted as possible.


  1. Carissimo, how could we have missed Dottor Debono when the auditions were held??? I cannot agree more on his one-up-manship. The snag is that no one is actually laughing and the only joy he can bring is for the hobbuni brigade.

    Good piece dude - and may your festive season be filled with peace, health & prosperity.

    David il-fenech

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