Tuesday, 29 November 2011

Who do atheists worship?

Lately, I’ve been bombarded with messages from atheists. Ok, so maybe not bombarded but I’ve been seeing them, the believers in this new religion, atheism, becoming ever more prolific and vociferous.

Facebook, that new depository for all things secular, political and humanitarian, is full of this atheist and humanist theorising, so maybe the best thing would be to keep off the blogosphere and Facebook.

But, then, how would I find out what makes Franco Debono, Jeffrey Pullicino Orlando and all the rest of the clowning mavericks tick? And how will I learn what tea they or their supporters drink?

Such existential thoughts are more than necessary for survival. So I keep reading and receiving messages, I trudge on and am assailed by humanists asking me to put God and his coterie of angels and other celestial beings aside or, better still, to dump them as fairy tales.

Atheists keep screaming and stamping their feet saying God – or god or gods – does not exist. And they prove it beyond reasonable doubt by quoting section and verse and rhyme. They will not be happy till the rest of us see the light. I presume this is called conversion of the masses to atheism by divine intervention.

What, I hear the whole of Malta ask, is wrong with that? Isn’t it their God-given right to say whatever they want and wherever they feel like saying it? Naturally, they can do it on mountaintops, in humanist pews and wherever. I really can’t find anything wrong with their shrieking and pontificating. As one of my most cherished mentors used to say with an ironical smirk on his face, to each his own.

I don’t wish poker-faced nuns and wizened priests to ram religion and their frightening God down my throat.

I hate fundamentalist churchmen and the way they put God and his Son and his fellow followers into anything and everything we do and say, from morals to what I should buy. I love my God and his Son and his son’s mother to be super nice and full of the “hey-they-don’t-have-wine-let’s-give-them-wine” sort of godliness.

But I hate it just as much when atheists do practically the same thing and jabber on about their fundamentalist thoughts, making me fear that, if I do believe, I’m a hated heathen of atheism, the godless religion.

I don’t really care if Lou Bondì is a supporter of Inter, Lawrence Gonzi or God. All I care about is what he delivers. If what he delivers is watchable and good journalism who cares whether he drinks orange juice, kiwi juice or if he is a supporter of Dr Gonzi or not?

And if, in court, he kisses a Cross to symbolise someone who is tied to say the truth and nothing but, I couldn’t be bothered one bit at all.

After all, what in heaven’s name has atheism got to do with saying the truth? So when a criminal, a killer, a drug pusher or a lawyer kisses the Cross, do I have to conclude that just because he has kissed the image of Christ that person is a God-fearing person and, thus, saying nothing but the truth?

Horror of horrors. Should the court registrar or the Minister of Justice issue warrants for catechism teachers to check on the thoughts and feelings of all Cross-kissers, to wean out the liars, the non-believers and the ones who do not believe fully? Could agnostics –those who sit on the godly atheistic fence – kiss the Cross and be half believed?

As I said, I have no problem with any creed-mongers or cultists going on and on about their beliefs and stuff. Well, ok, they might drone me to sleep but we all can follow our dreams and dwell on our inner thoughts till kingdom come and even way beyond. But I tend to believe that one of the main grouses of atheists is how Catholics and followers of other religions brainwash everyone and their child.

So now it’s turning full circle. Now we have atheists, may their own god protect them, ramming it down my throat. Hey, they say continuously, we are non-believers, we are sure there is no god and we can prove it. Darwin and Freud and Godzilla proved it by some physical, maybe metaphysical, ways. For all I know they might be right.
For all I know Godzilla did give Elvis Presley a ride to Kansas and JFK is now living in harmony with John Lennon on the moon and with Marilyn Monroe as barman.

But I don’t really care what anyone believes as long as they do not harp on about it till I have to agree, especially when their stated motto in life is to get rid of brainwashers.

By some strange inverse proportion of some incredibly impossible-to-prove theory, the more atheists prove how right their theory is, the more God and His heavens and angels on their harps sound alluring and plausible.

This article first appeared in The Times, November 19, 2011

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